I temped today in Rockville, Maryland. If Maryland was depicted in Monopoly game, Rockville would be heading towards Boardwalk Ave or Park Place. It is certainly the high rent district. The patients are normally older, retired with a mouth full of implants, crowns or other expensive procedures. Well to do individuals with well to do teeth and a serving of periodontal disease of course. 

The typical Rockville patient sees the dentist, physician, ENT, chiropractor, herbalist and a long list of other providers in an effort to stay healthy. They are a mix between the granola head and the Bloomingdales shopper.  Staying healthy is a beautiful thing!                              

However, a patient that sees this many providers without a systemic condition knows way too much about themselves.           

I realized this today after taking a really sweet, healthy patient’s medical history for over twenty minutes. These patients are so informed in terms of their health, it must be exhausting. I finally came to the conclusion that these patients are a bit difficult in comparison to my beloved clinic patients. 
I have decided that my day of meeting 7 amazing patients in Rockville provided excellent material to outline my dental hygienist pet peeves. 

1. Anti-Recliners: Patients who refuse to lay at less that a 45 degree angle in the dental chair but sleep supine at home.

 2. The Great Debaters: Patients who want to have a presidential style debate about fluoride. (Triple bonus peeve points if they ask about whitening in the same appointment.)

 3. Dolphins: human dental patient that sporadically leaps to spit the same saliva that helped them eat their lunch. I promise, there are no additives in my prophy.

 4. The Hosts: the patients who will not stop talking no matter how many instruments I put in their mouths.

5. Amphibians: the patient who licks my finger the entire time. We just met I mean you could ask for my number first. 

6. Geisha girls-patients that put all 42 inches of their hair behind their head in a bun make it very difficult to see the top teeth. Please Princess Leia you are killing my back. 

7. Leftovers: patients that eat a buffet right before their appointment. (Triple bonus points for being shocked and disgusted when you see spinach being removed.)

8.Trauma patients: patients that floss their mouth for the first time in 6 months and do it with vigor of the Spartans. I see your gingiva is ripped to shreds so yes this prophy may be uncomfortable. 

    In all honesty all of the aforementioned traits are held by some of my favorite people. They are my pet peeves because it makes it more difficult to do my job. But rest assure I get the job done well. There are tricks of the trade for every pet peeve.